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Whether you are a department head, supervisor, HR director, attorney, or member of senior staff, sooner or later you will probably be asked to intervene formally or informally in a workplace problem. Some people call this alternative dispute resolution, or mediation, or facilitation. Whatever you call it, it’s all problem solving. Here are my top 10 problem-solving mistakes to avoid. I can personally guarantee that each and every one of these mistakes can send you, and your process, over the falls without a barrel!

1. Being Overly Friendly With One Side. Gaining trust is different than being chummy. You have to be neutral. If one party comes out of the break room and sees you talking and laughing about last night’s game with the other, you may lose their trust.
2. Judgmental Comments About the Other Person. Avoid commenting on the intelligence, clothing, perspective, lack of judgment, etc. of the party in the other room. It will be repeated and probably not accurately or in context! It’s ok to say “I’m not sure they understand your perspective.” It’s not ok to say, “I’ve said the same thing 10 times and they just don’t get it! We are wasting our time here.”
3. Spending More Time With The Other Person. Yes, everybody notices. If you are making progress with one party but have spent a long time with them, excuse yourself and pop into the other room briefly.
4. Ignoring Violations of Agreed-upon Mediation Rules. It is important for everyone to understand that their violation of your rules (and/or violation of their own rules) will have consequences. If you ignore rule violations, not only will you lose their respect but you will lose your ethical compass and probably the mediation itself.
5. Telling War Stories about Other Mediations. This makes people wonder what you will say about them down the road, in violation of confidentiality.
6. Losing Your Perspective. If you feel one party is using you as bait, or if you think one party is just plain wrong, take a five minute break yourself. Remember – your job is not to judge right and wrong, it’s to help the parties reach an agreement which they can live with.
7. Telling Jokes. Most jokes have a positive and negative side. You may not know whose toes you are stepping on with a joke, or how it could be interpreted.
8. Covering Up Mistakes. Be straightforward about misquoting the parties and/or misquoting an offer. Usually people appreciate your honesty.
9. Don’t Ever Talk About Animals. Maybe it’s just my bad luck, but every time I have asked one or both parties about their dog, cat, ferret, snake, etc., the mediation blows up. Every single time.
10. Over Your Head. If you just don’t understand the issues or the problem, or feel a personal prejudice against someone with a particular perspective, apologize and end the mediation. Don’t keep going out of pride.

My experience has shown that avoiding these common problem solving mistakes will help you reach your goals the next time you deal with workplace conflict, performance appraisals, unproductive staff meetings, or contract negotiations.

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Nothing contained on this page should be construed as providing legal advice or creating an attorney-client relationship. All information herein is intended as educational only. For advice specific to your situation, please contact an attorney of your choice.